We tried to make it easier

but really, coming onto the day your baby is due to come into this world, knowing that the baby will never have that chance can't be any easier despite trying to make it that way. Wednesday was a very sad day for us. We spent the day together, running errands, and just being with each other, but it was still a very sad day.

We released Balloons at 5pm (that was about the time i knew I'd lost her despite the doctors not confirming it until 11pm that night - 6.5 months ago so we figured it was fitting).

A green one for Sammy

A Purple one for Maddie from here http://www.remembermaddie.com/index.php/2009/04/07/madeline-alice-spohr/

And 4 big beautiful balloons for our precious babies.

They looked quite, interesting, floating down the beach. A couple got stuck briefly in trees, which Lucy thought was hilarious. It was in no way perfect, but it was something, and today, just like yesterday, and the day before, I'm clinging to the somethings, because otherwise, there is just nothing.