Dr Google

Last week, Dr Google taught me something. I'm not one to read up on symptoms on Google, I never have been. I always figure that if I'm sick I'll just, you know, go to the doctor. Dr Google is great I'm sure but its not like it can write me a prescription should I need one, and meantime, I'll start thinking I'm dying!

What doctor Google taught me however, was that Ariana's anemia, which could never be explained, was more than likely caused by her Acute Renal failure. Which means, for 11 weeks we were looking at the wrong part of our princess. It also explains why the figures varied so much week by week, why the anemia seemed to abate and the come back, and then go away again.

The last thing it told us though, is that despite everything the doctors did, despite everything we did, and tried to do, She never stood a chance on this earth. You can't live without Kidneys, It's true she was born with two, and they looked normal, but clearly, there was a problem. And not two hours after i learnt this from Doctor Google, Ariana's death Certificate arrived in the mail. The primary cause of death listed was Hyperkalemia secondary to acute renal failure, resulting in Hydrops Fetalis and a Grade Four Intercranial Hemorrhage.

The death certificate arriving shocked me. I had no idea it was coming, I thought we would have to wait for the autopsy results before it would be completed. I was wrong. But fortunately, I had just finished getting acquainted with Dr Google, and already knew what it would say.

And it turns out, I was right. Her Kidney's weren't working for months.

It might seem awful to say, but that's reassuring to me. After all, we chose to let her go, It helps to know, definitively, that it was the right decision.