Or maybe, just a wake up call. A few days ago I was moaning about how my neighbour has had her baby,, a baby due the same week as Ariana was.
Last night it occured to me that I am such a bitch! I was talking to Mr Neighbour, and he told me their daughter Amelia was born on the 16th of March.
I have been so busy thinking it's not fair that the neighbour was exactly as pregnant as I was, without even thinking of their circumstances, of what maybe they had been through.
I don't know them very well, they have a little girl Hayley who talks to Lucy over the fence (there is a month between them), but we never talk much, more of a wave hello on the way across the yard. I don't know what they have been through, if they have ever suffered loss.
But imagine if they have! If they have suffered a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, or had a baby, or a child pass away? Imagine if they struggle with infertility.
Why didn't it occur to me, that for them, this baby could be the miracle they have prayed over, and begged God for? Just like Ariana was ours, Amelia could be their miracle. God works in mysterious ways, he said yes to us with Ariana. He let her live long enough to part of our family, to meet her sister, and family. The yes was not the yes we wanted, but it was something. How do I know, that the same thing isn't true of Amelia! That she is an answer to their prayers!
I can't imagine how upset I would be, to hear someone was complaining about me having a baby, after all the loss we have suffered. It would break my heart. Yet that is what I have been doing to them! BITCH!
Sometimes I get so caught up in the grief, the anger and the denial that I forget that I'm not alone. That I am not the only person who carries this burden around, there are millions of us. Women and men across the world who lose children.
So now, instead if keeping the door closed, so I don't have to see, I am choosing to open it. To see their happiness, their joy, and their newest addition. To witness their lives and to be a small part of what might be, their very own miracle.
-- Post From My iPhone