Life: Nobody ever said it would be easy, They just said it would be worth it.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
I took a few days,
to decide how I would respond to this:
It wasn't that the "anonymous" writer inferred that I have too much self pity. It wasn't that they suggested I talk too much, Say too much, Judge too much and have somehow missed really living. It wasn't even the part where I am too forward, too blunt and as a result deserved the lynching I got in response to my comment on facebook.
It was the part where "anonymous" decided that assumption is a terrible thing.
In some cases, assumption can be a terrible thing. I believe that if you assume your next door neighbour has gone missing because her husband murdered her, without any valid reason for such an assumption, then yes, that IS terrible.
But assuming a child may, or may not be in a dangerous situation, based on what you have seen, heard and and experienced yourself? That is not dangerous. That is a little something we so elegantly call "gut instinct". How many times have you been told "if it doesn't feel right, It's probably not.". Or, If it seems to good to be true, it probably is". Or, If you don't feel comfortable in a situation, leave it, immediately," "Don't talk to strangers".
Every one of those statements is based on an assumption. You can't know, that the scary man over there who keeps looking at you with an odd look on his face, will be the one to follow you home and rape you. But you feel awkward, so you leave the situation, with a friend. Instead of walking, you get a cab. You take steps to protect yourself based.on.an.assumption.
I assumed nothing. I didn't assume the child was being abused. I didn't assume that the woman was regularly screaming in the face of her six week old daughter. I stated a simple fact. That I could hear, the lady next door screaming at her kids. Because, shocker! I could! And yes, it upset me to hear her going off her tree, screaming at a new baby, using language that I don't even use directed at that child. Even if Ariana was not meant to be that baby's age, it would upset me.
Apparently, I was not the only person who was worried for those children, because about half an hour later, the police showed up. I didn't call them. I didn't assume that that child was in danger at that particular time. I did however, voice my displeasure at the situation, and voice how incredulous I was that someone who has a child felt that screaming at a baby was justifiable. I'm sorry, It's not. I never said she was not having a bad day. I said she was screaming. Why she was screaming is not pertinent to the fact I was trying to put forward that said "screaming at a baby is unacceptable". Even if you are having the worst day of your life, It is unacceptable. That one person could not see that, that one person felt that screaming at a baby was OK, if you are having a bad day, rattled me.
Children are the most precious beings on this planet. They deserve love, and respect. And who knows, maybe that mother felt bad for yelling. I can't know, I won't presume to know she doesn't. But the point I was making, was that in that second it was wrong. And what pissed me off, was that people, including anonymous, keep saying it was not.
"To Error is a human feature".
Thank you anonymous, for pointing out the obvious, but I would like to point out that it is not an excuse. Would you be horrified if the Paedophile who was being convicted pulled out that line? I would be. I would tell him to take responsibility for his actions, to admit he was wrong, that he hurt someone! Hiding behind such a cliche' is immature. And that's all I'm going to say to address that particular point.
After all of this blew up on facebook, I deleted the person who was so certain that screaming at a baby was OK. I couldn't reconcile that with the person who has a child, and decided that the difference in opinion, was enough for me to terminate the link. Of course, this evidently made her cranky, I believe she saw it as a cop-out of the disagreement, and posted this
"......glad you deleted me coz I was about to do the same to you because frankly you need a more positive attitude...most of your comments are negative!"
To that I say, You are the only one. The only one, as yet who has said to me that most of my comments are negative. I have a single profile status with 30 commenter's saying that they love my status updates, they like to hear whats been happening with our family, how we're dealing with losing Ariana, and how our latest pregnancy is progressing. If you can't handle a little reality in your life, a little bit of something that is not sunshine and rainbows, then I fear for you should something truly terrible (God Forbid), ever happen.
I hope, I don't have to come back to this topic again, although "anonymous" is likely to strike back, as we've seen previously.
Anonymous, If you want to be taken seriously, I recommend leaving a name. (Post as anonymous if you want, write your name somewhere in the comments), otherwise, I'm likely to continue believing you and and this scum are one and the same.