or just get bored of them? Right after the miscarriage i wanted nothing more than to go out dance and pretend i was fine. I was happy to drink and dance the night away, happy to pretend i was like everyone else.
Now i think i'm growing out of it. Or perhaps i'm just moving on, because suddenly the idea of going out really doesn't appeal to me. I want to stay home with Matt and Lucy and watch TV. I want to be in my home, i want to clean my house, read a book, paint, play with playdoh, i want to in a word normal. I want my life to go back to the way it used to be. Back when i could be happy for someone who's pregnant, even excited. Now i smile at them, and blink back the tears. I just want my life to be normal again.
That word - NORMAL, why do i feel like my life will never be that way again.