Tuesday, January 13, 2009

If everything is perfect

why do i keep losing my babies? I really hoped that I would get some answers yesterday. But every single test they ran was perfect, not a single thing wrong with me, Matt or with the baby. So why does this keep happening. I know that each curette you have increases your chances of miscarriage. But why does this keep happening if there is nothing wrong with any of us?

I really wanted to be reassured, to hear that they isolated the issue and can fix it, bed rest, take hormones, do this, eat that. ANYTHING. Instead... perfect....we don't know.... might never happen again....might happen another 10 times. Sorry about your loss, better luck next time.

I hate the uncertainty. And i really worry about trying again. I'm so desperate for another baby now, I really really really want to have another baby. But I really really really wanted the last baby too. Our little girl. I wanted her. I loved her.

But that's not enough.

2 comments:

Bridgette said...

Wow :( I hope the next time you try it works out for you. I can imagine how tough it may be when you want children really really badly.

Tam King said...

Hey, nice to hear from you, your right It is hard, but there are people out there who have been through so much worse, so i just keep being thankful that i have Lucy. :)