Friday, February 20, 2009

After a few months of being ok

I've pretty much reached an earth shattering conclusion that I'm not really as OK as i once thought. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed, I'm not sick (well i have the flu but that's another kind of sick...) I'm just not really OK. Not today anyway.

I think that's alright, I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to have a tough time every now and then. Today, it all just kind of fell on top of me.

Lucy was tired and cranky pretty much for the entire day. All day she has been demanding and irrational which, with me in my current flue *i want to die* state, just didn't gel that well.

And then i got to thinking about our lost babies again, and about the baby that we should have been welcoming into the world on or around the 15th April....

And I think, that's where my day went to hell. I miss my baby. Seeing Bec with Tilly is hard, we were exactly 10 weeks apart in our pregnancies. She has her baby, i have a vacant space, and extra weight gain from being an emotional wreck yet again.

I don't mean to moan. I guess, really, today has just been a REALLY. BAD. DAY. Tomorrow will be better. That's one thing I've learned. One bad day, eventually balances out with a good one.

Tam xo

*oh my other parcel arrived today! Into the post tomorrow to arrive hopefully by Monday, only a day later than i hoped! My one sparkle for the day*

No comments: