Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Some people sound sincerely shocked

when i tell them I'm not lonely. And its true. I'm not dying of loneliness. I'm not walking around the house wondering what to do with myself. I'm not crying myself to sleep. And I'm not seeking out others to keep me from being alone with my thoughts for a week.

I like myself. And I like my company. I've always been pretty good at amusing myself, and I'm never one to be bored at home. I like being at home! I'm a pure-bred home body.

Sure I miss my husband. I miss going to sleep with his arms around me, keeping me warm. I miss him kissing me goodnight, and I miss him waving goodbye with Lucy as i go to work in the morning.

I miss Lucy. Its the only time I've ever been away from Lucy, apart from short over night stints while Mum and Dad have had her. I miss her laughing at me, i miss her cuddles. I miss her telling me that she loves me.

I miss my family. But i know they are happy. And safe, and having a wonderful time.

Loneliness happens when you lose something from your life, something that leaves a gap, a hole in your heart. My heart is as full as it's always been. I'm not lonely. I'm happy and contented.

I'm just home alone. There is a difference.

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