Sunday, July 12, 2009

I have a friend

who just had the most beautiful baby. She is tiny, and perfect in every single way. She is much loved and adored. Early in the pregnancy, there were fears they might lose her. But God intervened, and today she is nearly 2 weeks old. A Miracle.

I have another friend, who has, in the last 6 months, lost a baby. She was 8 weeks pregnant, and for some reason, her tiny baby's heart just didn't keep beating.

I have another friend, who attends a small church. This morning she arrived to hear that, now her and her husband are officially, the only married couple in the church, of an age to have children that aren't pregnant. They are also the only couple to have lost not one, but two babies in the past year.

The medical statistics say that something like one in three pregnancies end in miscarriage. This is pretty enormous! It means that between myself and my two friends, if all of us were pregnant at the same time, one of us, statistically, would lose our baby.

Somehow, it happened just like that. My friend had twins about 3 months ago. My other friend, had her daughter in Feb. We were, initially all pregnant at the same time. Jen was 5 weeks pregnant with twins, I was 9.5 weeks pregnant, and Bec was 20 weeks pregnant. All friends, all pregnant. Pretty exciting days. Until 3 days later when our baby didn't have a heartbeat.

I'm not the only one who knows the statistics. Because last week, when i mentioned that we were trying to have another baby again, the comment i got from one incredibly insensitive, stupid person was "Oh we're trying too, imagine if we were pregnant together, between us and so and so that would be three. At least I'd know my baby would make it."

Because, everyone knows, my babies die.

And one in three odds aren't great to start with, but when you know someone who has had multiple miscarriages, your odds suddenly seem brighter.

Mine, however, remain dismal.

God, please, let my next baby live. Please don't take another one from us.


Mama said...

I am so, so, so, so, so sorry. I will be hoping for you, Tam. Hoping that someday you will have a baby in your arms again.

There are no words, just know lots of thoughts are heading your way.

THE HART'S said...

i'm very sorry to hear that you lost your baby Tam:( I just dont know what else to say.. but i know that it will happen again for you and Matt, because Lucy needs a playmate:) stay positive and dont listen to those morons who doesnt have tact at all.. take care..i'll keep you in my prayers:)

Tam King said...

Thankyou Ladies xo