Sunday, November 1, 2009

The news is getting better

but I'm still terrified!

First of all though, I'm very sorry to those waiting for this post, I've just been exhausted, and really, haven't had the time to get on here and add the most recent and required updated. Although, part of that might just be because I CANT. QUITE. BELIEVE. WHAT. I'M. ABOUT. TO. SAY!

Bean is getting better. Like I said, I can hardly believe it myself, but It's true! According to our most recent scan on Thursday afternoon, Bean's fluid is decreasing (just a tiny bit, but It's less which is awesome!), and the blood flow through the brain is back within normal limits! Also, there was no comment on any of the reports about the "bright" bowel, so we're happily believing that this is because its back to looking normal as well!

At this point, the only thing wrong with bean is that there is the most tiny, almost impossible to see hole in his/her heart, which the cardiologist has said he believes is already closing up, and will NOT cause Bean any problems whatsoever.

I'm booked in for a "medically required" as opposed to "elective" C-section to deliver Bean at 38 weeks gestation, which to me is terrifying! The cardiologist says that the heart is strong enough, and in pretty much perfect condition, so a natural birth would not be a problem, but we're all conservatively agreeing that because we wont know WHAT might be wrong with Bean, the best idea is to go for minimum stress, and to do the C-section anyway. This means, hopefully, Bean will be making an appearance at around the 5th of March next year, leaving me with only 18 weeks of pregnancy left. If it goes anywhere as quickly as the first 20, we'll be meeting Bean in no time at all.

It's incredible to me that Bean is getting better. Just two and half weeks ago, our doctor told us to prepare ourselves for the worst, and to start considering a termination because it was looking likely that our baby would die, probably before 24 weeks gestation. That same day, he pushed us, (HARD) to get the amniocentesis done, to find out what we were dealing with and also took bloods to determine if the cause was a viral thing.

When the results came back as being not viral, I felt sick. I had so much riding on that Parvo-virus test result, wishing and praying it could be positive because we'd been led to think that was the only chance our baby had at survival.

I guess we sort of forgot about God, and the amazing things he can do. Why have a baby with a virus, which still needs invasive treatment, when you can just have a perfect, healed baby instead!

Our next scan is on Tuesday afternoon, and while I'm actually sort of looking forward to it, I'm scared as well! I guess, I just can't believe that after the grim-ness, and the dark-ness and the fear, that our baby, might actually be ok.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Tam,
I am not entirely sure how I managed to stumble across your blog, but if you are the same Tam that wrote on Ellery Case's CaringBridge site recently, could you please have a look at the comment made after yours by Chantel? I can maybe help if you need to chat about "bean" and my details can be found there...
I hope this note finds both you and bean happy and well.