Sunday, December 20, 2009

My emotional status

varies on a day to day basis, but generally, I think I'm doing ok.

My last post was depressing. It was utterly true, but still, depressing. I don't realise how many amazing people I have around me, until I start feeling sorry for myself and then suddenly, people start poping out of the woodwork, saying things that make me cry, and just being their wonderful selves.

Since we found out about Bean's various issues, I've spent such a large amount of time on Google - Dr Google for sure, but also looking to connect with people who's children are or have been through what we face. Since then, I've been privledged to be contacted by some of the most supportive women from all over the world, who have been through, and still are going through the same diagnosis' as we are.

An amazing woman named Chantel, who has honestly kept me from going insane, despite the fact that she lives on the other side of the country and we will probably never meet. Another amazing woman named Heidi, who's daughter is such a miracle, Colleen, who has shared so much of her story with me, and been a positive influence on me just by being honest and open. Catherine, who was treated so badly by the medical staff but still has a miracle child despite the adversity. These women and I will probably never meet. Two live in the USA, two are from Australia but live a great distance away. But they have given me hope. Their stories show me every.single.day that just because a doctor says "terminate", "Incompatible with life", and other terrifying options, doesn't mean that our babies will give up. It doesn't mean we should give up. There are ladies on the online birth club, who I will also never meet, who send prayers, well wishes and check in regularly to see how we're doing. We have friends who have never been closer, offering to babysit, cook, do anything they can to just help. We have other friends who just ring up to chat, and make sure we're doing ok. We have people praying for us all over the world. I have no right to feel sorry for myself because I. AM. SO. BLESSED!

Everytime I think I'm reaching breaking point, someone, comes through, and makes me realise I'm ok. And that I'm not as exhausted as I think. Every person manages to say something, or do something, to make me realise I can keep going, for another day, another week, or another month.

I think without all their support - without YOUR support, I really would fall apart. So thankyou, to anyone and everyone, who has ever said a kind word for our family, said a prayer for our Bean, or shared their story of triumph over adversity. Hearing the stories of how people survive, cope and move forward, with or without their precious children helps us. It really helps me.

And at the end of the day, I'm ok. Things aren't the way we want them. But God is control of that. And at the end of this moment, Bean is ok too. And we both have a lot of people to be grateful too for that.

1 comment:

THE HART'S said...

what a positive attitude Tam, I know you can do it girl!! you're strong:) and Bean is such a valiant baby..it will all be worth it..you're in our thoughts and prayers always..Merry Christmas! xoxo