the things people will say and do.
A few months ago, when I first found out I was pregnant with Ariana, I joined a birth club on an online forum, for March 2010. The ladies on the board were amazing to me, right from when we found out Ariana was sick, they were supportive, loving, kind and just there when i needed to vent. It helped keep me sane, and I really, Really appreciated each and every single one of them. I'm still a member of the board, I like to check in and offer any advice I have to them, and keep up with how their pregnancies are progressing.
I also liked to "board hop", checking in on the boards immediately before and after mine, February, and April. The ladies on these boards have also been lovely to me, although a lot didn't know about the complications Ariana was facing.
Up until today, I have never heard a bad word from any of them. Until today.
Someone, I'm not sure who, posted on the February board, my birth story, of how Ariana was born early, and then passed away. The point she made at the end of the post was to cherish your time with your children, and to enjoy your pregnancy. Which was fine, I was surprised to see my story there, but honoured to see women saying how moved they were, and how they were all going to be more positive. I like that my story has touched them.
And then today, I saw this post on the Thread : "why would you post something like that onto the February notice board. I'm sure a lot of people are feeling very anxious about giving birth, and all the things that can possibly go wrong. Let's keep it to happy stories".
I saw red. I probably should have ignored the stupidity, but instead I fired back a response, something to the tune on "So sorry my dead baby upsets YOU", or something equally mature.
But seriously? She existed. She was born alive, my baby girl. And she went to heaven. I should ignore it, but honestly, it devastates me, that less than a month after she's gone, and already I'm faced with this attitude.
God I hope this will get easier, but if its already getting harder, how can it?