Thursday, March 25, 2010

WARNING!

It's going to be another of those posts - not so much about periods, but other things to do with my bits and pieces - so as always, if you're not into intimate posts - click the [X].

Seriously. Click it.

So. I've been having sex. *Gasp!*

It's ok, I'm married, I'm allowed.

Seriously though, something has shifted in my marriage. I'm not sure what it was, or when it happened exactly. I know it's new. Like, really, really new.

After everything that happened with all my "indescretions", my interest in sex was at an all time low, or so I thought. Guilt, played a massive part in that. It's a miracle we managed to conceive Lucy at all, considering we were lucky to get lucky, as you'd say, once a month.

Then Lucy was born, and it was very messy, and painful and this happened. It was truly awful. And my previously hard to find sex drive, walked out the door shortly after. It was not good. I tried everything I could think of to get it back, but honestly, I was feeling super unsexy, super depressed thanks to undiagnosed PND, and just super tired most of the time. Completely not interested.

Poor Matt. My poor husband must have spent much time climbing the walls. To his credit, he never once pushed me, he never begged, and he seemed perfectly happy to wait for me to get my head together. I don't doubt he wishes it had taken less than two and a half years for it to happen, but he waited. (Have I mentioned I married a saint!!) (Obviously, we were having sex in that time, just not very much of it!)

I've never had a problem with being held, or kissed, but anything more, It was like my body had just shut down. To say, I wasn't interested at all, is such an understatement, and I hated myself for it, which only made it worse I think.

Well, fast forward to 8 weeks post partum after Ariana, and gosh, apparently I don't have a problem with my libido anymore. I don't know if it's because we've managed to stay together, that we've stayed in love despite the problems, the dramas and the heartache. But I've never felt closer to him. That's opened something and,

Yes people, I'm having sex again.

And It's GOOD!

(Told you to hit the [X]!!)

3 comments:

allusiveme said...

i hate you.. just a little bit right now.. i can't have sex for another 6 weeks (not to be mean or anything) but its like being post baby again.. ' no sex for 6-8 weeks'

congrats tho for sex drive coming back.. i totally get the undersexy thing.. i think i look horrible but, like you i (am about to) marry a saint, like matt, he's never pushed or anything.. i just hear little whimpers or 'dont do that i'm a bit horny, its not fair' (in a slighlt funny voice full of jest) How did we catch such amazing men? it is a wonder

Titanium said...

Life is Good. I'm glad you're healing and recovering; mind, body and spirit... it's a package deal.

Smiling for you, Tam.

Sonya Graham said...

you lucky duck! so happy your healing and happy!
.. can you come rub some of that onto me? (nothing sexual lol)