Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I'm no different to anyone else because

there are things in my life that i regret. I'm sure everyone has those moments where they go "ya know..that might have been a dreadful mistake..." I usually don't dwell on the things i regret, usually i figure its a regret so you just either move on or ignore it all together and hope it might disappear into that tiny space behind your subconscious, never to be heard from again.

It never works that well for me though That little space. Maybe I've filled mine up. But i have regrets.

Today i learned that i actually have the capacity to hate. I never in my life have hated. I've been through a lot, I've hurt a lot, cried a lot and messed up a lot. But I've never before had the will to hate. And it stems from those regrets.

I guess the subconscious is never as far away as we want it to be.

I have so much going on in my life at the moment. My heart is literally broken in two. I don't know how much more i can take, I've never been truly depressed before today. I'm always so optimistic, even if I'm down i can think of the "at least, this means, one good thing is" scenarios.

I'm beyond that after this past week and a half. Every single think that could go wrong has. I'm exhausted from trying to think whats going to fall apart next!

I think i need a holiday. A new job, a new town and a new life.

Me and my little ray of sunshine.

Just cause i needed a cuddle

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